Another woman utterly failed by our society’s devaluation of women’s reproductive health.
We can’t wait around for male doctors to decide what we need to know.
This is why we need to take control and educate ourselves about our own bodies.
and here’s some comments i saw under the post. why is this a pattern?? why is this a recurring theme?? why is this information not common knowledge? what the fuck are doctors doing??
This is news to me so let’s share it so people will know!
Gross tmi: but i passed a pretty big clot after having my daughter. It was about the size of a baseball. It actually hurt worse because while 15 hours of labor opened my cervix, i passed the clot in 30 minutes. I knew it was a possibility because of my midwife and reading, but everyone Ive told after this (mostly other pregnant women) were shocked that this could happen.
In our culture, it’s much more common to do deep research about what family cars we want to buy than we do about childbirth when we ’re pregnant.
Tmi: I passed a huge clot after birth in the bathroom of my hospital room and called the nurse sobbing because I didn’t know it was normal. She treated me like an idiot, but NO ONE told me it was a possibility. And the pain associated with healing for the first couple of weeks after birth was worse than the labor imo. Again, I had no idea. They didn’t tell me a thing besides “sitz bath regularly and change your pads.” Before discharging me from the hospital.
I was most definitely told about this in school. Fucking hell, 4-6 weeks of bleeding? My periods were/are bad enough, why the hell don’t we get told this?
I didn’t know it could last so long, wtf? Is the bleeding inevitable after birth?
Bleeding is inevitable after birth – your uterine wall is shedding a fuck ton of lining. It can last from three to six weeks (possible longer) and it tapers off.
More TMI – I passed a MASSIVE clot after my fourth birth. At this point I already knew this could happen – it’s normal. What I DIDN’T know, was that I had caused it.
My post birth contractions were so bad after the birth that it felt like full transition labor. And they don’t give you anything for the pain. So I used a hot water bottle, without the nurses knowing, and it caused me to bleed even more. I lost so much blood that by the first time they sat me up to go to the bathroom, I fainted. It took three more tries until I could sit up.
Anyway, that’s not the point. The point is, the next morning I passed a clot the SIZE OF ANOTHER PLACENTA I KID YOU NOT, and I know what is and is not normal. So I called for the nurse and through the door told her I had passed a huge clot, and her response was – “It’s not big. I know what big is.” She hadn’t even looked. So I rolled my eyes and said, “Yeah, no. It’s big, I’m telling you.”
So, sounding extremely put upon, she asked me to open the door. I did, and after a long pause she goes, “Okay, yeah, that’s a little big.”
YOU DON’T SAY.
The point I’m trying to get across is that this shit is so common – women not knowing this stuff is so expected, and it keeps getting reinforced. People don’t expect you to know anything, don’t teach you anything, and then make you feel like you’re totally ignorant and a burden for your lack of knowledge when THEY WON’T SHARE.
Fucking learn EVERYTHING you can when it comes to childbirth, girls. It is the single most empowering thing you can do for yourself. And if you missed something, that’s okay. But the more knowledge you arm yourself with, the more in control of your situation you’ll be.
A few post partum tips:
DON’T use a hot water bottle – lol.
ONLY pads – NO tampons. Tampons can cause severe infection, not to mention, you probably don’t want to be shoving anything up there any time soon.
If you’ve had stitches, sitz baths DO help relieve the pain. Another great pain reliever? Dampen some pads and freeze them. Let one thaw slightly and use it on top of another pad. This will help with the pain as well as reduce swelling. Change the pad out as soon as it’s thawed completely. This REALLY helps on the first couple days after giving birth.
If you pass a clot, don’t sweat it. Even the one I passed, which was fucking massive, just required that we keep an eye out to make sure it didn’t happen again. If it does, talk to your doctor.
Take a pain killer half an hour before nursing. Because YES – your uterus is contracting after you give birth, to get back to its original size, and nursing causes much stronger contractions. Taking nursing-safe painkillers won’t prevent the pain, but it will reduce it.
Buy disposable underwear for the first few days after birth. They will get VERY dirty. Or use your ratty old pairs that you’re ready to get rid of. Double up on pads – line them all the way up your ass-crack. I am so serious. And wear dark pants.
Pee in the shower. You do NOT want to wipe down there right after birth because ow. Peeing in the shower lets you just rinse afterwards. Especially if you’ve had stitches, peeing in the shower, with the shower-head rinsing AS you go, keeps stinging to a minimum. And fuck everyone else – keep on peeing in the shower until you feel ready to move back to toilet paper. Middle of the night and need to pee? Get your pants off – get in the shower and just go.
This is just a few things, but PLEASE feel free to send me an ask if you have any questions about ANYTHING childbirth/pregnancy/nursing related. I have four incredible kids. I’ve done it all – c-section, vacuume birth, episiotimy, stitches, with an epidural, without an epidural. I’m here.
….I know I keep reblogging this but people keep adding super important information.
I feel like no one tells women this stuff because if a woman was even a little on the fence about having a baby before this would kinda make them run for the damn hills.
…..you are correct, typing.
300% EXTRA SURE I’M NOT HAVING BABIES.
peri bottles, witch hazel or anti-pain anticeptic spray are your friends. Also passing large clots after birth is a WARNING SIGN. Bigger than a half dollar is a sign that you have not passed your entire placenta (this is most common in hospital vaginal births where the mother is not allowed to naturally birth the placenta and instead has it ripped out by the doctor) if there is any placenta left in your uterus you can get extremely ill. This happened to both myself and my mother in law
WOW I didn’t know any of this and I’m terrified of what more I’m unaware of about my own body 😦 Honestly when will we fucking abolish this taboo about the female body…
I had pretty great sex ed in school (lots of contraceptive information, and totally acknowledged that teenagers might have sex) and all of this is news to me.
And, as a 28-year-old person with a uterus, I’m extremely appalled I’m just learning this.
Long, but very important information, even for those who don’t plan to have children, because you will almost certainly know someone who will, and you might be able to to help them. Or at least increase your level of empathy for them.
…HOLY HELL. REBLOG TO SAVE A LIFE, SERIOUSLY.
A lot of tmi but I had literally no fucking idea this happens
At all
And my mom was a nurse with two kids
What the FUCK?!
I’m not planning to have children because there are so many without homes- but if you want to have your own baby, PLEASE read this information.
I’m 48 years old, well on my way into menopause…and I have NEVER HEARD ANY OF THIS BEFORE.
I hate this puritanical fucking society we’re in.
But of course your parents tell you all about this so schools don’t need to.
can we talk about how freakin rude Eddie boy was to my precious Rosalie? bc you don’t get to come at her by calling her an assassin for killing her abusers while you went and had a teenage angst phase where you straight up fed off humans for a few years
one of the things I’ll NEVER forgive J K Rowling for is making out EVERY Slytherin out to be an evil, nasty person. The only Slyth that got a somewhat of a redemption is Snape. The rest, Draco, Pansy, everyone else…nothing.
I remeber when I was ten years old, and logging onto Pottermore, crossing my fingers for a Gryffindor, maybe even a Ravenclaw, or even a Hufflepuff, but God, anything but a Slytherin…
You can imagine how heartbroken I was when I got my results. House Slytherin. I literally shut off my mom’s computer and cried. A Slytherin? I must be evil, then, I remember thinking.
She should’ve been like, it’s okay if you’re a Slytherin. You can still be kind and good and not be totally evil. It messed me up for a while, and I know it probably did the same to other kids.
Slytherins are valid and most of them are more than kind and lovely and super smart and extremely ambitious. Dammit, JK.
Severus Snape, Regulus Black, Andromeda Tonks, Horace Slughorn, Draco Malfoy (who actually got his redemption in CC), Albus Severus Potter and Scorpius Malfoy send their regards.
Yt people stay on their bs..Boycott this colonizer y’all!!
If you’d like to see the C&D order he sent to a Hawaiian business owner (spelling their name wrong) for deigning to name his Hawai’i based poke restaurant ‘Aloha Poke’, here it is.
This is like, peak white boi bullshit right here.
Here you go, Tumblr, use your Tumblr ways for good.
Personality is the most important thing about your character.
So, whenever I see character sheets, most people just put a little paragraph for that section. If you’re struggling and don’t know what your character should say or do, what decisions they should make, I guarantee you that this is the problem.
You know your character’s name, age, race, sexuality, height, weight, eye color, hair color, their parents’ and siblings’ names. But these are not the things that truly matter about them.
Traits:
pick traits that don’t
necessarily go together. For example, someone who is controlling,
aggressive and vain can also be generous, sensitive and
soft-spoken. Characters need to have at least one flaw that really impacts how they interact with others. Positive traits can work as flaws, too. It is advised that you pick at least ten traits
people are complex, full of contradictions, and please forgive me if this makes anyone uncomfortable, but even bullies can be “nice” people. Anyone can be a “bad” person, even someone who is polite, kind, helpful or timid can also be narcissistic, annoying, inconsiderate and a liar. People are not just “evil” or “good”
Beliefs:
ideas or thoughts that your
character has or thinks about the world, society, others or
themselves, even without proof or evidence, or which may or may not be true. Beliefs can contradict
their values, motives, self-image, etc. For example, the belief that they are an awesome and responsible person when their traits are lazy, irresponsible and shallow. Their self-image and any beliefs they have about themselves may or may not be similar/the same. They might have a poor self-image, but still believe they’re better than everybody else
Values:
what your character thinks is
important. Usually influenced by beliefs, their self-image, their
history, etc. Some values may contradict their beliefs, wants,
traits, or even other values. For example, your character may value being respect, but one of their traits is disrespectful. It is advised you
list at least two values, and know which one they value more. For example, your character values justice and family. Their sister tells them she just stole $200 from her teacher’s wallet. Do they tell on her, or do they let her keep the money: justice, or family? Either way, your character probably has some negative feelings, guilt, anger, etc., over betraying their other value
Motives:
what your character wants. It
can be abstract or something tangible. For example, wanting to be adored or wanting that job to pay for their father’s medication.
Motives can contradict their beliefs, traits, values, behavior, or
even other motives. For example, your character may want to be a good
person, but their traits are selfish, manipulative, and narcissistic.
Motives can be long term or short term. Everyone has wants, whether they realize it or not. You can write “they don’t know what they want,” but you should know. It is advised that you
list at least one abstract want
Recurring Feelings:
feelings that they have
throughout most of their life. If you put them down as a trait, it is
likely they are also recurring feelings. For example, depressed,
lonely, happy, etc.
Self Image:
what the character thinks of
themselves: their self-esteem. Some character are proud of themselves, others are
ashamed of themselves, etc. They may think they are not good enough,
or think they are the smartest person in the world. Their self-image
can contradict their beliefs, traits, values, behavior, motives, etc.
For example, if their self-image is poor, they can still be a
cheerful or optimistic person. If they have a positive self-image,
they can still be a depressed or negative person. How they picture themselves may or may not be true: maybe they think they’re a horrible person, when they are, in fact, very considerate, helpful, kind, generous, patient, etc. They still have flaws, but flaws don’t necessarily make you a terrible person
Behavior:
how the character’s traits,
values, beliefs, self-image, etc., are outwardly displayed: how they
act. For example, two characters may have the trait “angry” but
they all probably express it differently. One character may be quiet
and want to be left alone when they are angry, the other could
become verbally aggressive. If your character is a liar, do they pause before lying, or do they suddenly speak very carefully when they normally don’t? Someone who is inconsiderate may have issues with boundaries or eat the last piece of pizza in the fridge when they knew it wasn’t theirs. Behavior is extremely important and it is advised you think long and hard about your character’s actions and what exactly it shows about them
Demeanor:
their general mood and
disposition. Maybe they’re usually quiet, cheerful, moody, or
irritable, etc.
Posture:
a secondary part of your character’s personality: not as important as everything else. It is advised you fill this out after. Posture is how the character carries themselves. For example, perhaps they swing their arms and keep their shoulders back while they walk, which seems to be the posture of a confident person, so when they sit, their legs are probably open. Another character may slump and have their arms folded when they’re sitting, and when they’re walking, perhaps they drag their feet and look at the ground
Speech Pattern:
a secondary part of your character’s personality: not as important as everything else. It is advised you fill this out after. Speech patterns can be words that your character uses frequently, if they speak clearly, what sort of grammar they use, if they have a wide vocabulary, a small vocabulary, if it’s sophisticated, crude, stammering, repeating themselves, etc. I personally don’t have a very wide vocabulary, if you could tell
Hobbies:
a secondary part of your
character’s personality: not as important as everything else. It is
advised you fill this out after. Hobbies can include things like
drawing, writing, playing an instrument, collecting rocks, collecting
tea cups, etc.
Quirks:
a secondary part of your
character’s personality, not as important as everything else. It is
advised you fill this out after. Quirks are behaviors that are unique
to your character. For example, I personally always put my socks on
inside out and check the ceiling for spiders a few times a day
Likes:
a secondary part of your
character’s personality, not as important as everything else. It is
advised you fill this out after. Likes and dislikes are usually connected to
the rest of their personality, but not necessarily. For example, if your character likes
to do other people’s homework, maybe it’s because they want to be appreciated
Dislikes:
a secondary part of your
character’s personality, not as important as everything else. It is
advised you fill this out after. Likes and dislikes can also
contradict the rest of their personality. For example, maybe one of
your character’s traits is dishonest, but they dislike liars
History:
your character’s past that has
key events that influence and shape their beliefs, values, behavior,
wants, self-image, etc. Events written down should imply or explain
why they are the way they are. For example, if
your character is distrustful, maybe they were lied to a lot by their
parents when they were a child. Maybe they were in a relationship for
twenty years and found out their partner was cheating on them the
whole time. If their motive/want is to have positive attention, maybe their parents just didn’t
praise them enough and focused too much on the negative
On Mental and Physical Disabilities or Illnesses
if your character experienced a trauma, it needs to have an affect on your character. Maybe they became more angry or impatient or critical of others. Maybe their beliefs on people changed to become “even bullies can be ‘nice’ people: anyone can be a ‘bad’ person”
people are not their illness or disability: it should not be their defining trait. I have health anxiety, but I’m still idealistic, lazy, considerate, impatient and occasionally spiteful; I still want to become an author; I still believe that people are generally good; I still value doing what make me feel comfortable; I still have a positive self-image; I’m still a person. You should fill out your character’s personality at least half-way before you even touch on the possibility of your character having a disability or illness
Generally everything about your character should connect, but hey, even twins that grew up in the same exact household have different personalities; they value different things, have different beliefs. Maybe one of them watched a movie that had a huge impact on them.
Not everything needs to be explained. Someone can be picky or fussy ever since they were little for no reason at all. Someone can be a negative person even if they grew up in a happy home.
I believe this is a thought out layout for making well-rounded OCs, antagonists and protagonists, whether they’re being created for a roleplay or for a book. This layout is also helpful for studying Canon Characters if you’re looking to accurately roleplay as them or write them in fanfiction or whatever.
I’m really excited to post this, so hopefully I didn’t miss anything important…
If you have any questions, feel free to send a message.
Pansexual Monster Girl 