sirussly:

(( OOC: Listen, I don’t think anyone is making out that either of these ships are 100% healthy and functional. Both are set against the backdrop of a shit ton of war and death and that is obviously going to have an impact.

But I agree, there’s a massive double standard. There are countless wolfstar-centric stories about Remus being unable to accept Sirius’ affection, of pushing him away and Sirius refusing to take no for an answer. Usually because Sirius understands Remus is being irrational and that his actions are born out of self-loathing and paranoia.

Yet when Tonks does the same thing in the books, she’s viewed as an emotional, needy, young girl who got rejected and couldn’t handle it. There has to be elements of internalised sexism and misogyny, there.

At the end of the day it’s very hard to pitch the two ships up against each other in an argument. On the one hand we have very limited canon moments between Remus and Tonks (seen via Harry’s viewpoint, an obvious unreliable narrator in this case) and on the other hand you have a pairing of which there is no clear canonical evidence for.

So admittedly, both ships are heavily reliant on one’s own imagination in order to fill in the gaps.

What we see in the books don’t put either ship in a great light, let’s be honest. Remus and Tonks are often at odds with each other – with Tonks cornering Remus in the hospital wing, and Remus then abandoning her whilst pregnant. Then you have Sirius, who unthinkingly uses Remus to pull an incredibly deadly prank, and suspects him of betraying them all to Voldemort.

If we can accept the dysfunctional, unhealthy elements of wolfstar and use our head canons to build a workable pairing, the same should be allowed for remadora, no? Remember… not only are both these relationships fictional – but a good chunk of that fiction originates from the fandom, not the canon.

tl;dr: I ship Remus Lupin with happiness and chocolate. ))