Sirius sits watching Remus at the breakfast table. Little does he know that Remus’ mouth and his affinity for swearing is going to get him into some Sirius trouble
Remus: Ow! Fuck me!
Sirius: *ripped out of a daze*… What?!
Remus: Sorry, I just burnt my tongue…
Sirius, are you….
Sirius: *awkwardly avoids eye contact*
2 Mins Later
Remus: Sirius?
Why are you so…
naughty?
Sirius: *chokes* Uh… what?
Remus: You know… your hair. It’s in a knot. You’re knotty.
Sirius: Oh… er-yeah.
I get it…Great pun, Remus. Knotty heh.
*rearranges legs uncomfortably*
2 More Mins Later
Remus: Sirius, you look a bit…
hot under the collar.
Sirius: *ripped out of staring again* Sorry, what?
Remus: *Reaches toward him over the table*
Do you have a fever
Sirius: *busts outta there like a mofo before Remus can reach him*
Er-YES! *jumps up*
Not feeling well. I’m just gonna head to the hospital wing before class… See ya guys in Transfiguration. Or NOT
Remus: *Watches a very flustered Sirius practically run out of the Great Hall*
Remi: Oh, you probably have a date or something, right?
Sirius: Uh…. it’s not a dress...
Sirius: Uh… Liam wanted to know what lingerie looked like because…. because… HES SECRETLY WANTS TO TRY SOME ON!
Liam: WHAT?!
Remi: *Remi + Siri in lingerie = Nope. Can’t. Huh?*
Remi: *violently shakes head to clear it of Siri fantasies, all of which involve lingerie now* Oh wow Liam, never knew you were into that. No judgement of course. But, uh, we probably shouldn’t tell Jamie about this right? She’d probably spontaneously combust or something.
Pansexual Monster Girl 